No Longer Broken – Maybe?

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Falling

He admitted it happened.  They talked about having a baby, moving in together.  I feel ill.  It happened on my couch, in my car, on the front lawn of my apartment complex.  All directly under my nose.  I confronted her about it, all she cared about was if I was going to tell the family.

He admitted it because he ended it, and she threatened to tell.

I feel sick.  He has cheated before, so many times.  This time…  it was family.  That is wrong, in so many ways.

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WTF

Unsure of what to do…

blaming myself thou i know i shouldn’t.

trying to keep myself together

to stay strong for those around me.

knowing the truth of how i feel

scared that his feeling may be temporarily there

will he soon change his mind?

Or can we make this work?

What can I say to make him happy?

How can I make things right?

where do i stand?

I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff

one step can throw me over

or his words can save me

but i should be saving him

i cant make this decision alone

but scare to say the words

to tell him what i need

feeling this way makes me guilty

just want to concentrate on him

to help him mend

no decision to be made

i cant mess this up

 

Seriously??  Cousin, you are 18 years old…  you have been staying at my house…  under my roof, eating my food.  And…  you write this about him??  And I know it is about him, because I have been watching you watch him, follow him, cuddle with him, rub against him.  Little did the two of you know that the neighbors around here like me, and would tell me that he has been feeling you up.  Little did you know that I am not the stupid person you thought I was that I would not know.  And then you post that on FB.  The day after I tell him its over.  WTF??? 

You weren’t the sole reason I left, but the many like you, that pass through his life like water…

I deserve happiness.  I will have it.

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